I am rarely lonely when I am alone.

Some of my most profound moments of loneliness have been when I have been surrounded by people – not strangers or mass faceless crowds – but by people I know as friends, colleagues, family, acquaintances. Those moments when…

my heart thoughts are mismatched with the conversation of the moment

when witty, funny words bounce gleefully from others while my slow, serious tongue falters stupidly

when I am painfully aware of my ordinariness and inadequacy – I am not the charming neighbour, the vivacious sister, the favourite aunt, the super mom, the gregarious colleague, the socialite friend…

I am just me and sometimes being me feels lonely.

Oddly, I don’t fear loneliness; however, I absolutely abhor the discontentment that seems to be at the root of so many of those lonely moments. When just being me feels more like an apology I owe the world than a privilege and blessing to celebrate and cherish.

In this, I suspect that I am not alone.


10 thoughts on “Loneliness”

  1. Very well written and expressed Charis. Everyone has a life story and I’m sure what you have written would fit in whether for a moment in time or over a long period of time. I am enjoying your blog Charis. You have a gift for the written word and the expressing of your innermost thots which we can identify with. Thanks


    1. Thank you Judy for the reminder that moments of loneliness, as hard as they may be, are not nearly as debilitating as a lifetime collection of them. Our world is far too full of lonely, hurting hearts…


  2. Dear Charis,
    I identify precisely with what you have shared! You have an extraordinary gift for writing and I’m glad to have found your blogspot. Thank you for sharing your heart!
    I love you!
    Your Auntie “CJ”


      1. My parents were on the mission field when I was born, and were friends with an American ‘Charis’. I’ve always liked it and said if we had a girl I would like to name her Charis…..three boys later….nah……


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